The Big Idea's Beginning.

The 'Idea' began back in 2005, on a cold, winter morning, as I searched our London flat for my son’s something.  I was annoyed – he'd recently turned 4, and I thought he ought to know where his some-thing was.   Normally, his mum would know - she'd use her stuff-antennae that all mothers seem to have, but she was out.  It was just the boys at home and he'd never known where his things were before, so I had no right to be annoyed.  I just remember thinking - when does the slog of always-having-to-do-everything stage of parenting end? 

Almost immediately, I realized all parents would go through this.  Little caveman kids would’ve left their things in the back of the cave, almost certainly in the darkest corner of the cave.  I could see cave-dad having to grab a torch and find the tot's whatever in the dark shadows.  THAT would be a slog.

Picturing this, I also realized that industrious do-gooders must have tried some sort of parental solution to this.  Like most parents, I didn’t mind helping my son find things, or any of the mind-numbing duties of those first five years.  I enjoyed those duties as much as any dad in the history of soiled linen.  But I wanted a light at the end of the tunnel – when would it end?

Then the 'Big Idea' hit me – Rites of Passage. 

History is littered with all sorts of rites of passage.  Perhaps the most famous were the Spartans, those swashbuckling sadists, whose children marked their first significant rite of passage by not being thrown off a cliff on day one.   Fortunately, most rites of passage are easier on children, and at more sensible ages, with 7 days, 7 years and 13 years being the most frequent ones. 

My epiphany was that these rites of passage weren’t just for the kids, they were for the parents, too.  Of course, on the child’s part, they do their ‘rite-of-passage’ thing, they become a man, a woman, a Jew, whatever. A very big deal. But what doesn’t get often mentioned is that it’s also an important moment for the parents - once the child performs their Rite, the parents are relieved of accepting their pre-passage behavior forevermore.  The child can be reasonably expected to grow up, and the parents must now recognise that maturity.  

Both parties get a clean slate, because the Rite has decreed it.  Genius.

My only problem was that no part of my culture has rites of passage.  I’m neither Catholic nor Jewish, both of whom regularly practice Rites.  My people just didn’t have them.  

For many of us in the West, we have almost no rites of passage (some may count going to school or getting a driver’s license, but I don’t).

So this blog, and the treks it will describe, is the result of that frustrated winter morning, when Ben was about 4, and I was looking for his something.   It is part of my effort to create some Rites of Passage for my kids.

So this is the 'Big Idea': on their 13th summer, I will take my kids on a Rite of Adventure.  The rules are twofold: it has to be a genuine challenge, and it must take about a month to complete.

To prepare for the Rite of Adventure, the children receive on their 11th birthday a little booklet (which I make), describing a variety of options for their Adventure.  On their 12th birthday, they 'pick their poison'.  And on the 13th summer, we go and do it together.

Ben's booklet included 500km hikes, 1000km bicycle treks and long canoeing trips.  He chose to hike 500km of the Pacific Crest Trail.  We're both very excited.

This blog will be written by both the kids and myself, and will tell the story of their Rite of Adventure.  We’ve been talking about this for a long time.

After next summer, this blog will share the story of Charlotte’s adventure in two years’ time, and Freya’s two years after that.   Each trek will be unique.  

Thanks for sharing in this adventure with us.